Another bad movie in the books. Today's train wreck was
Zookeeper. The story of a "nice guy" who is in a job he loves, but the woman he thinks he loves thinks that he's wasting his life. The job: zookeeper. Seriously, this was awful. Our story continues: the animals in the zoo overhear every conversation around them, including one between the zookeeper's love and her friend, in which she says that she may have made a mistake dumping him. The animals then decide to take it upon themselves to get their keeper more confident and more appealing. They then....wait for it....call a meeting to tell the keeper their intentions and get his buy-in. It gets worse from there, so I won't bore you with a play-by-play, but suffice it to say,
Zookeeper is another in a long line of talking animal films that exist to pander to kids and insult the intelligence of every adult in the auditorium. Take the animals out of the equation, and it's still a horrendously bad romantic comedy.
Kevin James, notorious for bad movies already, gives another mediocre performance as the schlub with a heart who manages to, against every law of society, get the hot chick, or, in the case of this movie, two. Rosario Dawson is his secondary interest, the zoo veterinarian, and Leslie Bibb plays the "girl of his dreams." The animal voices are: Sylvester Stallone, Cher, Judd Apatow, Faizon Love, Jon Favreau, Nick Nolte, and Adam Sandler. Every one of them, apparently, desperate for a paycheck.
This was terrible from start to finish, and I couldn't wait for it to end. I'll never see that ninety minutes again, and Kevin James will never pollute a screen in my home again. Skip this crapfest and see a great animal movie: the Rex Harrison version of
Doctor Doolittle. OK, its not
great, but compared to this it should be shown in The Louvre....if they had a theater....for movies....that are art....forget it. .5/10.
See you tomorrow, and GO WATCH A MOVIE!!
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