I have to admit to being somewhat of a closet fan of the Hollywood musical. Not a full blown-gonzo-jazz-hands fan, but I do appreciate the good ones. Burlesque doesn't fall into that category. The music and the choreography were great, but the story, oh dear God, the story...let's just say it was a festival of every "person from the sticks goes to the big city to get famous" cliche that ever was written. I think they actually managed to get all of them in there, I stopped counting when I hit 16 individual cliches (yes, I did count). This was a textbook of the predictable. This movie tried to be a mixture of Moulin Rouge, Cabaret (sans Nazis) with a large dollop of Coyote Ugly thrown in for no particular reason. It was two full hours of fantastic song and dance routines broken up by a forty car pile-up of a story. Beautifully shot, it had potential. I was optimistic it might have been another Baz Luhrmann-esque gem, and the opening number showed promise, but then the story started and it all went to Hell.
The talented cast did a really good job with what they were given, which wasn't much script-wise. Christina Aguilera sings her ass off in this, and, according to my wife, would have made a better Roxie Hart than Renee "Trout Mouth" Zellweger did in Chicago (I agree). She actually shows an iota of acting talent, too. It would be cool to see her in another role in, perhaps, a more "established" musical. Cher and Stanley Tucci are really good as well, but the story is so bad that you have a really hard time believing characters that smart fell into that ridiculous set of circumstances.
If you are in the mood for a 120 minute music video, this might be for you. If you enjoy the classic film musicals, and are hoping this is a modernized version of the genre, look elsewhere. Might I recommend Oliver (my personal favorite), Damn Yankees, or The Wizard of Oz. Seriously, you cannot go wrong with them. 5.5/10
I'm shooting to have tomorrow's blog up earlier. This getting it in just under the 12:00 hour is killing me. Just a reminder, pot luck from here on out, unless it's something in theaters or a AAA title I have been waiting to see. See you tomorrow, and GO WATCH A MOVIE!!
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