Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Day 11: "Thank you for another useless motto!"

Disney's The Sorcerer's Apprentice probably would have been better off titled The Adventures of Dave the Sorcerer.  Apart from the name, a brief crappy "homage" to the Fantasia segment, and a smattering of the classical piece, this movie does nothing to deserve its title.  This is a juvenile (I mean that in the insulting way) film playing with a grown-up's effects box, resulting in poor decision-making.....wait a minute....oh, forget it, I'm sure the filmmakers were unaware of this particular irony.  If you want a reference point for this, think: Harry Potter meets Street Fighter.  I'm talking to you Jon Turteltaub, there's a reason you were not picked to make a Potter film.  The main plot is fairly interesting and did keep me tuned in...for the first hour...ish.  The romantic subplot is utter crap and the actors just look stupid instead of awkward.  I do have to admit, however, that Disney's sorcerers do know how to pick a supercar for a chase scene (nod and a wink to Top Gear).  Never thought I'd see a McClaren chasing down a Ferrari in a movie about magic.

With a scant few exceptions, the acting is atrocious.  Only Nicolas Cage (I'm not even going to list any movies, if you don't know who he is, you're reading the wrong blog) and Alfred Molina (Spider-Man 2, Raiders of the Lost Ark) are the only ones who look like they are even trying.  In Cage's case, trying way too hard.  Even a cameo from Monica Bellucci (The Matrix Reloaded, Tears of the Sun) can't help this mess; but she still looks great trying (personal weakness.....but I digress).

Sorry folks, this one is strictly for the kiddies.  Watch it with the family, but pass on it otherwise.  The "Prime Merlinian".....seriously?!?  I'm curious to see if Disney further molests the carcass of Fantasia.  Coming, Christmas 2011: Tim Allen stars in A Night on Bald Mountain!!! 4.5/10

Tomorrow's movie: I'm actually just gonna wing it and pick one at random.  Sorry no clues.  See you tomorrow, and GO WATCH A MOVIE!!
 

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