So, yeah. Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck's (I swear that's his real name) The Tourist had such promise for me. A solid cast and, what appeared to be, a good story is supposed to lead to good things in a movie. ZZZZZZZZZZ......... For a film only an hour and forty-three minutes long, it took forever to get started, and wound up going nowhere. Slowly. After the initial set-up in the first act, I was talking to my television, begging for something to happen already. Even the big chase through the canals of Venice is one of the slowest, least suspenseful things I have seen. The villains actually catch up to the escaping boats ON FOOT. I'm not kidding, they jog. I was sorely disappointed with this movie. The story meanders around, trying to get the audience interested in what few twists and turns it holds, but in the end, just comes to a stop. The good guys are predictable, and the bad guys are cardboard cutouts, filling scenes.
With the all-star casting of Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie, I expected to see sparks fly, and enough sexual tension to kill a teenager. Unfortunately Depp just looks bored, and Jolie's British accent...well, if you close your eyes and listen hard, she kind of sounds like Jane Seymour. Paul Bettany played the part of an obsessed Scotland Yard detective very well, I only hope he begins to get offered better parts, given his recent stretch of roles.
This is another film that was the beneficiary of it's own publicity department. The trailers made it look intriguing, and I, again, fell for it. Even for die hard Depp and Jolie fans, I can only half-heartedly recommend this movie. It's so frustrating, because it could have been so much better. It reminded me of a slower paced Thomas Crown Affair (the Brosnan/Russo remake) if that helps you get an idea of how much it crawls along. 5/10.
Tomorrow's movie: George Clooney, The Dude and a Jedi in: The Men Who Stare at Goats. Yay, paranormal, military research! See you then, and GO WATCH A MOVIE!!
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