Day 18: "There's thousands of them..and they're pissed!!"

Goddamn, I hate 95% movies shot for 3D.  HATE.  Every single opportunity the director has to wave something in your face, he grabs with a death-grip.  Subtlety is not an option.  It's almost like the filmmakers were paid by the effect.  Alexandre Aja's Piranha started with such promise.  A cheesy horror flick that looked like it wasn't going to make the mistake of taking itself too seriously.  The first five minutes contained a really funny homage to an earlier water-based horror.  Then it went downhill...fast.  I was not hoping for a masterpiece with this remake of the 1978 film, but I foolishly hoped for better.  Instead of a genetic experiment gone awry, these fish are angry about being stuck in an underwater cave since the mesolithic era.  Yes, they are dinosaurs.  Lucky for them, there is a resort town nearby, deep in the throes of spring break.  Now I am all about the come-uppance of the stupid and ignorant, but holy crap, when everyone is stupid and ignorant, it kind of loses its meaning.  Luckily, these fish can distinguish between tasty flesh and inflatable rafts while in the middle of a feeding frenzy.  No inner tubes were harmed in the making of this movie.  Yeah, it's that kind of bad.

There are a number of respected and well-known actors in this, and for the life of me, I can't figure out why.  Richard Dreyfuss, Elisabeth Shue, Ving Rhames, Jerry O'Connell, and Christpher Lloyd, to name a few.  The producers must have had something very incriminating on the actors, because that is the only reason I came up with as to why they agreed to do this (Dreyfuss being the lone exception, I loved his part).  I mean, come on, the police take a captive fish to a local PET STORE to be identified.

I Remember how Hostel was a clever balance of boobs and blood?  Piranha does its best to top it, but ultimately comes up very short.  A clever start was ultimately unsupported by the rest of the story.  A disappointing 5/10.  Oh well, back to 1978 I go....

Tomorrow's movie: the awkward teenager returns in Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World. I have heard good things.  Confidence is high, repeat, confidence is high.  See you then, and GO WATCH A MOVIE!!