Monday, May 2, 2011

Day 59: "One condition: I drive my own car."

If you like your action canned, your heroes cardboard, and your stories by-the-numbers, then Transporter 3 is the movie for you.  Another chapter in the franchise, (I'll let you guess which it is) The Transporter is only transporting itself in to oblivion.  This is the character that Arnold Schwarnegger was mocking so mercilessly in Last Action Hero: the "had-enough-of-the-job" professional, forced back into action by less than reputable characters.  He gets into his uber-charged Audi, and we go at a hundred miles an hour from this point on.  It was interesting the first time, by now it's just played out, even with the weak twist of Frank not being able to get more than 75 feet from his car due to an explosive bracelet. It was done better in The Running Man, which is an indictment in itself.

Cockney stud Jason Statham continues his role as the ever dapper driver, a role he now doesn't even have to try to play.  The rest of the cast is rendered irrelevant by the fast cars and explosions.

This is one of those movies that you might want to watch on a cable movie channel, late on a Saturday night, after having one too many drinks.  This character and franchise was once good, but is now a mockery of what it once was, which wasn't much to begin with.  As predictable as you could imagine, one can only hope this will be the last of them, unless it makes a buck, then all bets are off.  Best avoided at any speed. 3.5/10.

See you tomorrow, and GO WATCH A MOVIE!!

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