Day 82: "Your child belongs to Men-Tel. Crime does not pay."

When Fortress was released in 1992, there were a few unique things going on at the time.  Home video was in its early stages, and Christopher Lambert was considered a talented and popular actor.  I bring up the home video explosion because this is one of the main films that is responsible for the "Direct To Video" market being born.  Don't misunderstand, this WAS theatrically released, albeit for a very short period of time.  A B-movie through and through, Fortress takes place in a dark future where it is an imprisonable offense to have a second child.  A couple is found guilty, and the majority of the story takes place in the titular prison and revolves around the plan to escape.  Hokey and low-budget in the extreme, this movie would have been right at home in the 50's sci-fi craze.  This is a bad science fiction movie throughout, with little accuracy for anything scientific, and the fiction is pretty lax as well; crazy computers, intestinal behavioral modifications, laser grid bars on the cells...it's all there.  As bad as all that is though, I had fun.  What can I say, I have a weakness for corny.  It reminded me, heavily, of my all time favorite direct to video movies, Robot Jox, in terms of the future in which it is set.  This is one of those movies that's going to be a guilty pleasure.

Starring, as I said, Christopher Lambert, he continued his downward spiral of bad movies.  Funnily enough, that spiral began at the second film he made.  The acting equivalent of a one-hit-wonder, his heyday came and went with Highlander.  The original.  And that's it.  Really.  Kurtwood Smith tries to be as evil as he was in Robocop, but in more control.  Sorry, Red Foreman, not happening.  Jeffrey Combs, ironically, a direct-to-video staple, is wonderfully hammy.  Ever since I saw him in Re-animator, I thought he was a blast to watch.

So, to sum up, a terrible movie that is a lot of fun in spite of itself, Fortress now has a spot in my heart.  The side that has no taste and doesn't care that it has no taste.  I mean come on, a flamethrower is gonna take out a big rig? HAHAHAHA!!!!  .  If you're in the mood for grade-A Wisconsin cheddar, give this one a shot.  If you have no sense of humor about your movie choices, avoid it, but you won't respect yourself in the morning.  6.5/10

See you tomorrow, and GO WATCH A MOVIE!!