***Rules For Going to See a Movie at the Theater***

OK people, I really need to get this off my chest.  When you got out to see a movie, remember that you are in PUBLIC.  There are other people to consider.  Just because you paid, doesn't give you the right to assume you can act like an inconsiderate A-hole.  Everyone else in that theater paid for their tickets too.  So here is my list of rules that need to be POSTED and ENFORCED at every movie theater.

1) Turn off your cell phone before you enter the theater
-Simple reasoning here folks, if it's off before you go into the auditorium, you won't forget once you are seated and comfortable.  You are excused from this if you are an on-call doctor.  Everyone else: IT CAN WAIT.  Your texts regarding whether or not you should dump your current fling, or when you can pick up your chronic will be there after the movie.

2) SHUT THE HELL UP!
-The theater is not your living room, be quiet.  Respect the fact that those around you paid to watch and HEAR the movie.  They didn't shell out their hard earned cash to hear you yammer on about how bad work sucks or listen to you sing along with the soundtrack.  In line with this rule, the movie doesn't know you are there: stop telling the person on screen to not go upstairs because that is where the killer is.  Don't read out loud what is written on screen, it makes you looks stupid.  Lastly, keep your snarky comments to yourself.  If you ARE a comedian, keep it for your act where people pay to see you talk.  Reacting to what is there is fine, a good scare almost requires a shriek of surprise, but don't take it too far.

3) Parents are accountable for their childrens' behavior.
-Parents, it's your job to keep your offspring behaved and in line.  Allow me to say on behalf of the rest of the civilized world: If you can't control your child(ren), get out and let the rest of us enjoy the movie in peace.  Yeah, you paid your money for admission, but so did we.  Nothing, NOTHING is worse in a theater than a crying infant/child or a child who doesn't realize that this is not home, and we can't pause the movie until you shut your yap.  If the child is crying, take them to the lobby until they have calmed down, please.  If the child is insistent on wanting to know what is going on in the movie, take them to the lobby to explain, and then explain about being quiet during the movie.

That's it.  Not difficult.  Once the lights go down, it's showtime.  End the conversations, watch the movie you paid to see, and let the rest of us do the same.  End of sermon.