Thursday, May 5, 2011

Day 62: "You got franks AND beans there...good girl..."

I wish I understood the mindset of a production company when they decide what movies to produce.  Vampires Suck is one such decision I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for.  The only thing I can think of that got this green lit is blackmail.  The spoof genre has been around a long, long time.  It was perfected by the mad genius Mel Brooks and his masterpiece Young Frankenstein.  There is now a new opposite end of the spectrum.  This movie was awful, even below the low expectations I had going in.  The jokes are recycled to point that they are compost.  I was fascinated when I heard my wife laugh at a scant couple of scenes.  When I asked what exactly was funny, she said I wouldn't understand since I hadn't seen or read the Twilight series (and I have never been more grateful for passing that up).  Herein lies the movie's greatest flaw:  it's meant for the Twilight crowd, and no one else.  Someone watching this cold, will miss 80% of the jokes, and the other 20% just is so played out, it's not funny, it's groan inducing.  I'm sure that if I actually had gone to a theater to see this, I would have left 15 minutes in.  I've only ever done that 3 times in my life.

Awful, awful, awful. I wasted my time so that you now won't have to.  For those unfortunate Twilight fans reading this: if you love the series as much as you say, don't give this movie the time of day.  It borders on insulting, and I HATE everything Edward and/or Jacob. HATE.  .25/10.

I really need to start putting more care into my choices, this is really getting painful.  See you tomorrow, and GO WATCH A MOVIE!!

1 comment:

  1. I agree that the audience for this is very narrow; it's like they made it for all those poor bastards whose women forced them into sitting through the Twilight series.

    I've never read the books or watched the movies either, and a co-worker let me borrow this. I was mainly confused, not entertained.

    I hope your next movies aren't as bad!

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