Day 60: "Where have you been for the last three months? I thought you were dead!"

Worst.  Movie.  I.  Have.  Ever.  Seen.  That sums up my comprehensive review of Crank : High Voltage.   Really.  It's not just sequel bad, it gives bad a whole new definition.  Shot like the director was having a seizure and a heart attack at the same time, no shot goes for more than 5 seconds before there is a really bad jump cut.  The continuity is a joke, and for some reason, there is an "homage" (it's the only word I could come up with to describe it, and that's not even close) Godzilla fight.  I swear to God it's there.  An overly gratuitous and bizarre sex scene goes on much to long for even poor taste to be served, this is by a long, long way, the absolute worst film I have seen outside of a toilet bowl.  I would happily watch Little Fockers repeatedly if it meant I could unsee this.

I'm convinced, after two consecutive days of Statham, that this man needs guidance in a desperate way.  Dude, get a new agent, ASAFP, because your career is being flushed down the drain before our eyes.  The rest of the cast is (mostly) one-shot has-beens. 

There are no, i'll repeat that because it's somewhat important, NO redeeming qualities to this trash heap.  Run away from it like it's going to kill you.  Never speak it's name or your firstborn is forfeit to the evil that it is.  This is a first for me, and hopefully, a last. 0/10.

See you tomorrow, and GO WATCH ANY MOVIE BUT THIS ONE!!!!  I'm not kidding, my eyes are still bleeding.